Does God Withhold Good From Us?
Experiencing Contentment in a Season of Longing
Several years ago I was getting coffee with a friend and we got to talking about a friend who, despite the fact she was lovely, smart, funny, and (insert amazing quality here)...she was still single in her 30s. (This is a weird phenomena in Nashville, and I am truly befuddled by it.)
But this conversation led me to think about my own longing—at the time my husband and I were trying to start a family. I thought about all of the prayers, hundreds of test strips, fears, waiting, well-intended comments from people, and more waiting. I thought about how I had wrestled with the tension— I really wanted something that seemed to be “good” but wasn’t getting it. And yet I knew that I served a trustworthy God who held time (and my circumstances) in His hands.
I vaguely remember blurting out something to my friend like, “Yeah, that is hard. At some point we all have to balance God’s sovereignty with our longings and desires.” And honestly, that is where my heart and mind had been with the Lord. I was trying to balance what I really wanted, and what I was getting instead.
This conversation led me down a self exploration about contentment— specifically how do we find contentment in seasons of longing? Do we take the smile-and-nod-like-everything-is-ok approach? Do we question God’s character? Do we feel as if He is withholding something good from us? Do we live in constant discontentment, assuming we’ll never be happy until we get or experience ____? Do we try and fill our lives with other stuff to make us happy? Do we try and numb the pain?
The question that stuck with me, was how do we balance God’s sovereignty (or control over all things) with what we want? Especially when what we want is a good thing?
The First “Longing” in the History of Mankind
Desire isn’t a new thing; it has been etched into the human heart from the beginning of time. Of course the nature of our longings can also vary— some are good, and some may not be good. One of the first longings we see in the beginning of time was with the woman (not yet named Eve) in the garden.
God had given both Man and Woman everything they needed in the garden, including His presence. His only parameter—do not eat from one specific tree in the garden. This seems like a pretty sweet deal. Of course satan, the angel who fell because of his pride (Ez 28:17), was on a different mission. We know he comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10a).
Satan tricked the woman to believe several lies:
God’s Word was not trustworthy (therefore God himself wasn’t either).
God was withholding something good from them.
First off, satan took God’s commandment and expanded the restriction by slightly tweaking the truth. “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1). God only commanded them to not eat of one tree, but satan turned it into any tree. He made the woman question what God said, and then mislead her.
Then satan directly contradicts the truth. “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman.” (Genesis 3:4). That consequence God gave you won’t happen. Don’t believe him. He’s lying.
His final tactic, was to make the woman believe God was withholding something valuable from them. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:5). In other words, God doesn’t want you to have what He has and He is holding out on you. Of course we know God was withholding something from man and woman, but it was for their good.
Sound familiar? Satan is not very creative in his deceptive techniques, and we fall prey to the same mis-truths. We can fall into a place of questioning God’s character. Did He really say that? Is He really good? Does He really have my best interests at heart? Is He really working all things together for good?
How to Find Contentment Amidst Longing
The safest way to fight off lies is to combat them with truth, and ironically the only offensive weapon in the armor of God. So what truths do we learn about God elsewhere in Scripture that we can cling to during seasons of longing?
God is Good.
Psalm 34:8-10
8 Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
This may seem like “too simple” a truth at first, but in tough situations, remembering the foundational character of God is paramount, and goodness is specifically unique to God. In Mark 10:10, Jesus says, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.”
Perhaps this is why there are so many worship songs that sing of God’s goodness. (Cue, John Mark McMillan’s King of My Heart). When we experience longing, our hearts crave to know the One in charge of it all is in fact—good.
God Does Good.
Psalm 145:9
“The Lord is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.”Psalm 119: 65-68
65 You have dealt well with your servant,
O Lord, according to your word.
66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge,
for I believe in your commandments.
67 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I keep your word.
68 You are good and do good;
teach me your statutes.”
In addition to His character being purely good, God’s actions are also good. This can be hard for us to understand, especially when we see bad things happen in the world or our situations seem bad. And yet when situations seems contrary, we trust that God does in fact do good, and perhaps there is something we do not see (or know) that is a part of God’s good plan.
““When situations seems bad, we trust that God does in fact do good, and perhaps there is something we do not see (or know) that is a part of God’s good plan.””
For example, Joseph hardly seemed to experience “good” situations. His brothers sold him into slavery. He was falsely accused of rape. He was thrown into prison. Yet God had a specific purpose for his life, and Joseph recognized that God sent him to Egypt to “preserve a remnant on Earth, and to keep alive many survivors.” Of course we learn later that the promised Messiah would come from the line of Judah, one of Joseph’s brothers who survived a famine because of Joseph’s position of power in Egypt.
God brought life-changing good for all of us (salvation through Jesus), through many situations in Joseph’s life that didn’t seem good at all.
God does not withhold good.
Psalm 84:11-12
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
12 O Lord of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!Psalm 34:9-10
9 Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
This is perhaps one of the most refreshing of the truths, because it explicitly says what we are tempted to feel (that God is withholding good from us) is exactly the opposite of God’s character. The caveat and second part of this verse is, “for those who walk uprightly.” All throughout Scripture we see God’s blessing is coupled with obedience to Him (Deut 28:1-2). So if we are in a season of longing we are wise to ask ourselves, are we walking “in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him”? (Colossians 1:10). We might pray what King David prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me…” (Psalm 139:23-24). Many times we can be asking God for His blessings, but still living in rebellion to His precepts in an area of our life.
Yet we see many righteous people in the Bible experience longing. Adam longed for a helpmeet. Joseph longed for a reconciliation with his family. Abraham and Sarah longed for a family. Hannah longed for a baby. Mordecai longed for God to save His people. David longed for healing for his child. Paul longed for his thorn to be removed. Jesus longed for the cup to be taken from him.
While we may not understand or see God’s big picture, we can trust and rest in the fact that God does not withhold good from those who walk uprightly. Perhaps there are other things at work:
What we long for may not in fact be good for us
We have a different perspective of what is “good”
He has a better good in mind
He has a redemptive plan in motion for our suffering during longing
In seasons of longing we can rest in the truth, “He is good, He does good.”
In her song, “What I Thought I Wanted,” Sara Groves says “what I thought I wanted, what I got instead, leaves me broken and somehow peaceful.”
As our longing may leave us feeling broken, may we claim the peace from trusting God is good, He does good, and no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
More verses to meditate on:
Psalm 107:1
“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever!”
Matthew 19: 16-17
16 And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” 17 And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.”
Phil 4:11-13
11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
